Album Review: Self Esteem - A Complicated Woman

Self Esteem
A Complicated Woman

★★★★★

With ‘A Complicated Woman’, Rebecca Lucy Taylor aka. Self Esteem has assembled one of the most compelling, clearly developed and exciting trilogies in pop. Building on the themes and foundations of her 2019 solo debut ‘Compliments Please’ and the liberation of her acclaimed 2021 follow-up ‘Prioritise Pleasure', which sent her stratospheric. ‘A Complicated Woman’ with its soulful self-reflections is the exceptional evolution of an artist in full understanding of what they want to create and present.

It’s been almost four years since ‘Prioritise Pleasure’ redefined what a Pop record could be. It simultaneously elevated Taylor to the top of festival bills, TV performances and magazine covers. Taylor’s transformation into stardom was rapid, and how she’s coming to terms with the impacts of that shift can be felt across ‘A Complicated Woman’. “Be very careful what you wish for she said looking at me all smug like she was the first person to say that / I’m not complaining, I’m not complaining I say, I’m whingeing in a new way” sings Taylor on the opening lines of first track ‘(I Do & I Don’t Care)’.

Taylor’s journey of contemplation on how she balances her ever-evolving self-growth with newfound success, status and the pressure of the eternal dilemma of following up your perceived biggest achievement is the thematic constant on the complex and layered record. At first, the opening track is reminiscent of ‘I Do This All The Time’, the breakout single from ‘Prioritise Pleasure’ that kickstarted her popstar ‘era’; however, that’s the thing about Taylor, she’s not interested in repeating the same trick twice. ‘A Complicated Woman’ may be her first release on a major label (Polydor), yet it’s perhaps her most creatively daring. Across 12 tracks, she eschews the temptation to repeat previous successes or chart-dominating positivity pop. Opting once more to push herself creatively, compositionally, and lyrically as she asks, ‘What if I’m just feeling ok?’.

One of the fascinating aspects of the surprisingly cohesive record is how it manages to communicate Taylor’s emotional transformation to the listener across those twelve vastly different tracks, each refusing to conform to a traditional song structure. ‘A Complicated Woman’ achieves that by presenting a fresh, unexpected and maximalist motivational sound. Taylor’s vocals are frequently and unapologetically larger than life, ready to be blasted across the largest venues possible with a soulful sheen.

Singles ‘Focus Is Power’ and ‘If Not Now, It’s Soon’ are the perfect examples of this, as Taylor finds her vocals are supersized and surrounded by a triumphant chorus of female voices. It’s an incredibly powerful tool that frequently provides an emotional response I haven’t felt since Madonna’s ‘Like A Prayer’. These moments throughout the record are akin to how Justin Vernon’s ‘Bon Iver’ alias has slowly become about a collective of musicians rather than the singular artist at its core, with the moniker of ‘Self Esteem’ representing not just Taylor but the creative collective she’s assembled.

That embrace of collaboration is present across the album, notably with its sensational guest appearances. Nadine Shah appears alongside the thunderous drums of ‘Lies’, American Drag royalty Meatball provides a frank and exceptional opening to ‘69’ that somehow manages to match the energy of the track perfectly. Sue Tompkins, of Life Without Buildings, meanwhile delivers the outro for ‘Logic, Bitch!’

Then there’s Moonchild Sanelly, who previously teamed up with Taylor on their delightful standalone single ‘Big Man’, here returning for a devastatingly powerful monologue on the track ‘In Plain Sight’ (“What will be of me if I speak my mind? Can I still exist?”) about the societal expectations placed on women. It builds to an emphatic and defiant plea from Sanelly of “What the f*ck you want from me” before Taylor rises to join her on the track for a sensational, affecting bridge and finale.

The album also frequently diverts from soulful gospel pop into techno-trance soundscapes that would befit the throbbing sound systems and pulsating dancefloors of Berlin nightclubs. ‘Mother’ is a delicious lambast of men who are looking for a provider, emotionally and physically, rather than an equal partner. Taylor’s voice distorts over the pulsating beat as she educates on healthier practices such as listening, growing and therapy with some of her most enjoyable lyrics to date (‘I don’t need perfection, I just need reflection and a sense of knowing you’re growing, are you interested in growing?)’. 

Electro club beats also flow through the track, ‘69’, a frenetic and fabulous guide to sex whose enticing beat will have you sweating as gleefully and profusely as if you were enacting each listed position. Whilst ‘Cheers To Me’, a defiant middle finger to fuck boys that shimmers with it flittering and glistening electronics somehow straddles the two musical realms she’s crafted. 

The album builds through to its finale, ‘The Deep Blue Okay’, which isn’t just the soaring conclusion to the record but the sonic embodiment of Taylor’s moving trilogy of work to date. It slowly roars into life, ‘So what’s left, I hear you cry / It’s just another new mountain to climb / But   I know that at the top is where the next hill starts,’ declares Taylor before a euphoric explosion of horns. We’ve come full circle with the search for finding ‘The Deep Blue Okay’, with the term uttered like a mission statement earlier on the record’s opening track. Taylor has taken us on the necessary emotional journey to truly soak in this triumphant and deserved album finale.

Taylor has mentioned her love for fellow Northern rockers Elbow’s sentimental stadium staple ‘One Day Like This’. Guy Garvey, too, has that almost intangible ability to stir emotions through composition and powerful poetic lyricism that Taylor masters across the record. It would be easy to say the track is Taylor’s ‘One Day Like This’, but it’s much more than her ‘Tender’, her ‘The Universal’, it's Self Esteem’s ‘Deep Blue Okay’, it exists as its own singular anthem.

Ultimately, once again, Taylor has delivered another sensational slice of Pop history. Like her previous albums, what continues in Taylor’s work is her ability to naturally encapsulate every human emotion. Whilst no topic is off-limits, no feeling is either. Whether that's contemplating insecurities on ‘I Do & I Don’t Care’, fighting the stigma of female sexual desires on ‘69’ or coming to terms with an alcohol dependence to overcome anxiety on the devastating yet sublime 'The Curse' (potentially the quintessential Self Esteem track). Then there's the euphoria. It's hard to place into words the joy and camaraderie that Taylor can conjure within you. I wish I could bottle some of those sensational moments sprinkled throughout the record, the motivation I feel from ‘Focus Is Power’, the reassuring embrace of ‘If Not Now, It’s Soon’ and the cathartic conclusion of ‘The Deep Blue Okay’.

Throughout her press appearances speaking on the record, Taylor frequently alluded to a near-breaking point where she was ready to pack in releasing music in the period between her albums. So the fact ‘A Complicated Woman’ exists feels like a victory in itself, its exceptional quality, however, underscores how profound that potential loss would have been.